Sunday, October 29, 2006
im still in a mess. AH FEELS LIKE SHIT.
STILL, it's nice knowing that there are always wonderful things worth smiling for :D
like my brother in pirate's costume (:
just attended my brother's kindergarten concert! he looks smart (: and he's about to embark on another journey in acs. HAHA. boys will grow up to be such troublemakers. MAN, it was as magical as last saturday night as i recalled (argh) anyways, little kids just light up one's life with sweet innocent happiness. that concert made me warm and fizzy inside. AND ENOUGH CUTENESS to last through this year :D kids nowadays are COOL. some of the small boys are seriously damn cute. saw a charming one and took his photo down! AHAH no other intentions! just taking random photos of CUTE BOYS (: yayy. i want to marry them :D
he showed me that there's so much more in this world to smile for (:
that night was filled with nice happy feelings. and i really hope these feelings will just stay with me forever. AH SIGH.
here's a warm nice song about happiness (:
and the video montage for my bro's kindergarten. really really cute :D
Happiness is two kinds of ice cream
Finding your skate key, telling the time
Happiness is learning to whistle
Tying your shoe for the very first time
Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band
And happiness is walking hand in hand
Happiness is five different crayons
Knowing a secret, climbing a tree
Happiness is finding a nickel
Catching a firefly, setting him free
Happiness is being alone every now and then
And happiness is coming home again
Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and nightime, too
Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and nightime, too
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That’s loved by you
AWW~
and today's i got reminded of God's love for me! i went to church tt's because i go to church everysunday and not just because i need divine help before the As (which i actually do!) but you just feel good that there's always someone loving you all the time and not feel too bad abt yourself.
in reality, the bitterness of it all.
Oh what mess you've got the best of my heart
It broke and now it's just a joke
Cause you're moving right along
I'm still here and you're gone
my love didnt mean anything to you anyway
CHOU NAN REN (smelly boy)
girl, drowning yrself with work.
dont make people punch you just to make you study.
happythoughts, girl, happythoughts (:
dancin' @ 11:39 PM
Saturday, October 28, 2006
I think I need some time by myself
Without anybody else
I just need to unwind
In my time machine
(pictures hun trying to play the violin with the song :D )
i promise to keep this entry real short,
before somebody comes after me with a knife x)
people tell me that my entries dont make sense! that shows how screwed up my thoughts are! (:
went to hun's house ytd to study!
did i mention that i got lost on my way there because i was busy looking at weirdlooking buildings there! what a noob. HAHA
at his house, half the time we were taking turns to sit in front of the comp. MOST OF THE TIME, it was just jon running back to the comp after sitting for 3seconds at his studytable! UNPRODUCTIVE and themostaddictive game was freaking addictive (:
http://blockfrenzy.com/
FASTEST TIME: 0.09sec. my personal best: 15seconds. ofcourse hun became the pro :D girls are too slow compared to you.
having friends to laugh it out with you, amidst all the complications you have inside, is a blessing (: thanks for letting me truely smile and laugh just like the old chuckles. all the attempts at trying to get me into the HAPPYmood. and making me feel good(: thanks to tocks.
[currently playing]
move along -allamerican rejects
if you want to be happy -jimmy soul
somebody like you -keith urban
i believe in you -il divo
time machine -clickfive
catch your wave -clickfive
then jon spoils it all by playing emo music... you're never the one for me. BLEHHH JON.
its good to unwind and talk things out. i like talking (: however our convo was always interrupted by weird sounding chords (jon trying to be emo by playing the piano) sorry for going down to play the piano in the end(:
my night was ignited by xiaoan's weird expressions and attempts to act like sherman and his (act)cool gestures. LOL. and a nice warm hug from joce. we were at starbucks studying and unwinding at the same time.
boys can either make a girl's life really awesome
or be such trouble to her.
and girls can be such trouble to boys too.
we should be seperated into two different dimensions.
dancin' @ 10:43 AM
Thursday, October 26, 2006
i think in any minute now,
mugging partner will COME AFTER me for leaving an entry here when it's actually 6days to our first paper!
but i cant help but to spill some of my crap here. first of all, to everyone! 6days left so make GOOD USE out of it! make everyday meaningful and not wasted :D
to mugging partner: SUPERMAN. studying can be a bore but you made studying more exciting actually due to your pigface and retarded ways. hahah actually you have shown me your kindness amidst all the MEAN things you always spill out. so thanks so much! it had been great being muggingbuddies with you
thanks for being there and not there :D
through all the complications.
the bittersweet feelings.
the love and hate.
the sadness.
the ANGER.
the happiness that i thought existed.
the false hope that things will turn out the way i want it to be.
im actually happy that im liberated from them. freed from the mess that i sank into. and still surviving. never will i ever try to fall into such complications again.
or rather, im scared to love again...
what i need now:
1) a tub of ben&jerry's icecream to make myself FAT.
2) a long bath to cry it out
3) ALOT of work to drown myself with just work (a good thing)
4) MANY new eyecandies.
but chuckles is happy to have people standing by her and telling her to BE STRONG! and carry on!! thanks for psychoing me to be happy and making me smile. you guys made me laugh even with the worst kind of jokes (claudio's jokes) HAHA. thanks for talking it through with me and even letting me see both sides of the coin (: for all the care and guidance now and the days to come. really, thanks for being there for me. and STILL bother to be mean. but that's what makes them friends of chuckles. to all that matters to me, THANKS.
REMINDER TO SELF:
2) wake up your idea (6days left)
3) STOP THE EMO SHIT.
4) focus. forget about it. LET IT GO
5)STUDY AND CHIONG ALL THE WAY.
I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE ME. just me.
but now is not the time.
sorry but chuckles is going to be selfish.
my love will only be given to one tt looks in one direction.
anybody else, do NOT deserve it.
(it's only natural to say so, in fact)
love is all about being faithful anyway.
LET YOU GO
-Ashley Parker Angel
Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time and you know it
Don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried over and over again
Stupid fights, wrong or right
Goodbye
I remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
Know I don't wanna
But I gotta let you go
You're the one mistake I really didn't mind
So beautiful, unmerciful
It took me down
Too little and too late
See now I know your kind
You fake it easy just to please me
Don't you know
It's not like we haven't tried over and over again
Sleepless nights, wrong or right
Goodbye
dancin' @ 11:08 PM
Sunday, October 22, 2006
i want you
it's a scary thought
nearing 2years in cj.. lectures tutorials remedials and all.. accumulated. and all the work boils down to the mere few days left before the As. it all counts on the fews days. there's no room for slackening and slowing down now scary :S
and muggingpartner! YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN PSed me. BLEHhh. think diamond! NOT GRAPHITE. that's weak shit. partner is strong. partner is super zai!. so dont think weak! hahaa. and to everyone else, let's make these few days count! GIVE YOUR ALL and dont live to regret in the future that you should have put in more.
anyways.
my perfectboyfriend van... thanks for being there really. you made me strong! and you make me want to cry for you.
i'll be there for you,
these 5words i swear to you.
i'll always love you. and you will always have my love alright.
i feel that sometimes girls are just so retarded. they tell themselves not to get affected by love, but in the end, they end up loving so much, that they get hurt. and STILL allow themselves to get hurt time and time again. secretly, they let love stab them over and over again. but it's funny how some of them can control it so well that its scary.
(what im abt to say may be pretty controversial but i'll still say it.)
sometimes, boys can be such a prig. you tell yourself that they're such jerks and players... yet you know that it's somehow untrue as well. (right, perfectboyfriend:D ) you feel that sometimes they're so unworthy to be with you yet you still want them to be there. no matter how silly they can be, they're the ones that you fall madly in love with.
PRIG. haha.
mr handsome,
im SO SORRY that ive wronged you. i'll be there when the world crumbles! (:
i am sorry that i made you lonely and sad,
i am sorry i made you feel bad.
what im trying to say,
im not always that way,
so love me for all
that i am.
dancin' @ 1:03 AM
Friday, October 20, 2006
i have no idea why am i back here scribbling... but studying for the As is shit tiring! just a few more days.. BURN baby burn! (: everyone study hard!
stay strong like covalent bond,
study HARD like diamond.
:D
TRYING to make studying less boring and more enjoyable. hahas. stupid sherman. my ipod is like his life.. still want to give me piteous look when i deprived him of music! thanks for being there la. stupid face and all. BLEH. sheesh. short-term happiness comes quick and goes off without a word. i have to be thankful that the happiness paid me a visit in the first place. what am i talking abt, happiness have always been with me. somehow i feel that the happiness that i stored safely inside me is stripping away.. i cant!
chuckles is CHUCKLES. and that kinda laughter and radiance cannot diminish!
joce, van and tocks... my darlings, thanks for reminding me to smile and that im myself. i love you all, my perfect boyfriends :D we have each other.
mugging partner, thanks okay. youre such a girl :D you are not mean and you make people feel warm and xing fu! 2more weeks and yes, i'll miss you. mugging partner is king. (:
counting everyday that goes by
all the tears that i cried
wishing that you could hold me tonight
im hurting inside
cause you dont wana love me
no more.
dancin' @ 11:04 PM
Thursday, October 19, 2006
l
AHHHH! why am i blogging now.
and she continues to type... sighs. i guess i cant get rid of the addiction of blogging. i think im about to reach mental fatigue... constant studying is making me really sick of it!
friends in school, im actually really happy to see you guys in school. i know you guys come to sch with the same aim as me, to study ofcourse. but thanks for being there because your presence tells me that im not alone and studying for the dreaded As and it makes me feel better abt studying (:
anyways, elena's ipod is ON HIGH DEMAND! hahaha.the emoboys in sch love it! and i have no idea why but it's really funny to see how they fight for it! understandably, i still give mugginpartner an adv to use it. so SORRY hun and markp and gabriel and vivek.
oh. elena wants kenny out of her life! you irriating person :D
ohh and people are coming up to me asking abt things. tocks, we need to have a lil talk alrite? :D
2weeks left and mugging partner is gonna dump me soon. BLEH. before it all ends, just want to say a big thankyou ya even if youre always so mean and disgusting.. youre still nice (:
mr handsome,
your ego gets bigger and bigger each day. yes, very hot and very cute. and pls take care of my pink rubberband! and when you sneeze, you might have many many people in your mind.. but you'll know the main reason why ok :)
remember, gay OR straight please. 10gay partners.
i just happy to be awake -mrhandsome :D
cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
it's as if my heart knows
you're the missing piece
dancin' @ 11:30 PM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
actually i cant afford any time to come blog here now... have chem mocks tom!last then 3weeks to As.. and IM STILL SLACKING LIKE SHIT.
AHHHHH!
but before i actually leave this stagnant for weeks... i shall scribble some of my feeling during cj's graduation day! ((: in the morning.. i already had a session of cam whoring infront of the scc! MAD TAKING of photos! and i caught the whole atmosphere in photos!
pictures say a thousand words so they shall take over! (:
(sorry cant upload ALL. will try to next time :D )
iggy damn hot. iggy damn sexy.
my my... sherm... have you grown abit BIGGER? fatty? aha
was trying to make william do his sidesmile face... which he has NO IDEA abt how to do it....
well, at least he tried :D
was trying to get mugging buddy to take photo with me! HEY last few times to do so already... and he keeps insisting to TAKE PHOTO... with others. ah! such an ass... really, and that video of you was really really mean! AH! it takes alot to be his mugging partner! hahahaha but ofcus elena can! :D muggingbugger, 3moreweeks k. make the most out of it and go become POLICE! you like the way i edit the photos right.. hope this one's good too. that depends if you THINK YOU LOOK GOOD HERE.
PEOPLE LOOK FUNNY WHEN THEY TAKEPHOTOS WITH ME BLEHHHH
first is iggy.....
continued with eddiebirdboy...
santos too.
followed by shermanho
and jared too!
jared's feet that i see daily in the morning!
took a couple of videos but im just posting a few up! :D and if you see these videos.. you'll think that cj people are DAMN MEAN. wells they are... hahah kidding la. actually they're nice people but always attempt to cover up their niceness... they still love me. RIGHT HUN! lol :D you can see the suaning might of jon and hun here! BLEHHH.
if the sound is not clear... basically i was arguing to be 10apples tall but they insisted on at most 3.3apples. BLEH! jon sounds gay!
http://s91.photobucket.com/albums/k293/chuuuckles/?action=view¤t=Picture171.flv
anyways, we went into the hall... and they were playing really inspiring music... so here's a lil short video on our way in.. with my girlfriend willie (: and bestfriend darcy... (: its really dark but you can still hear darcy, haha.
http://s91.photobucket.com/albums/k293/chuuuckles/?action=view¤t=Picture174.flv
i guess i had a millions thoughts in my mind.. thoughts that i cant just scribble down in words because they're just too complicated to pen down. as friends walk by... i was just stoning and thinking of the past year in cj. wells, it was a GOODgood 1plus year here :D
frankly speaking... ive drifted away from the class and everyone knows it... after orientation and it's clear that the class drifted apart on its own! but i really hope that we got tog in the end! which we kinda did at fishnco during the later part of the day :D
photos we took in class :))
adorable bear htc... captain aloy :D
what we did for the class poster.. always wanted to draw sth like that.. and i sure did in the end (: *elena's on top of the 't'! )
me and huihui with the poster! thanks for all the help girl! (: youre THE BEST. stupid darcyyyy......
my angelic ann
prettypretty yan and qin! you girls are my hottest babes ever.
corny daddy. i'll always be here, free for you to talk to kay. dont stress and study hard you last-minute-hardworking buggerr!
i think i look different here. HMM,
tall leslie LOOO
nice *wow* photo! darcy is my bestfriend :D
i cant live without them! LOVE.
nice photos taken before the graduation ceremony
graham (:
birdboy! :D
iloveher (:
cutie keerthi (:
mark mark mark P! *ahem* chia.
melmel
jon looks tall BLEH
the wonderful times of all.
sweet tocks (: i'll miss you dearly.
we dont remember the days,
we remember the moments!
watching videomontage took us on a journey on how our days pasted in cj... and it was actually the orientation pics that started me tearing.......
after graduation ceremony... made a trip to the forbidden doors of t20.... it was like hell within those walls as they started to bully markp on his birthday! it was like the BASH of the century.. the male population in there was HUGE. and they all were around markp! the whole process was such an angry sight that i shant stress further... argh! i got so disgusted that i walked away... forgetting that hun actually asked me to bring some makeup........ so then when i was walking down... HUN CALLED.
"ELENA where are you? you got the eyeliner right? hurry up come up! we're all waiting for you!"
so then.. the scary door unlocked and opened in front of me and i was welcomed into the t20 HELL. my goodness!!! I CANT BELIEVE THAT I PROVIDED THE MAKEUP! shucks IM SORRY MARKP! i dont know why guys find it SOOO amusing! anyways all of them got it on tape. LOL.
amidst all the hugging...
and saying I'LL MISS YOU.
little did we know taht we were seeing each other the following monday for chem mocks.. and prolly for consultation.
but it was a LONGlong weekend ahead.....
she crumbles under the pressure.
dancin' @ 10:31 PM
Friday, October 13, 2006
as we go on.
we'll remember.
all the times we've have together....
seems like everyone has this misconception tt cj's not the ideal place but i think many are mistaken! because i feel tt cj is GREAT. period. all the highpregnancy rate shit. and the scary envt do not exist because cjcians here are simply friendly (: SMILE. sat open house. SUPPORT!
aftering schooling in cj for almost a 2years.. day-by-day schooldays just go on and on.. and it turns out to be just a routine. but i guess as the days go by... it seems like a marathon. when we all start seeing the finishing line, we suddenly realised how much we enjoyed the process of getting there... and then we wished that the marathon will just last awhile longer so that we'll reach the finishing line just a little bit later.
i used to look at the building and thought that i'll never stay here.
wells, that's how i feel abt our last schooling day!
it was simply just another normal day of reporting to school.. reporting to class and reporting to lecture! we all did the same thing more than hundred times alr! but guess today was different because it shall be our last :( but mornings are still the same as ever! :D
this time, edwin came to visit ((: so we captured the moments.
and we captured the rest of the moments too! pinks recorded me in the process of being suaned. LOL.
edwin. the morning boy okay (:
markp will DIE tomorrow!.. HAHA i'll get back on you boy! hah.
class was nice today (: we set up a prank to scared mr balaji! HAHA. and we all joined ALL our tables tog for our last lesson in cj. and we simply talked and enjoyed each other's company... just when the year is ending. the class that i once knew was drifting apart, seems to be miraculously coming back tog again ((: the t38 that was once all high and orangyyy :D
supposed to be candid shot.
after school.... i went to the canteen! normal routine thing... actually it always seems like im walking towards death. LOL not tt bad la. but i know that im inviting myself to all the suanings waiting for me. HAHA. so then canteen life is always agitating yet exciting. and i greeted everyone with a "hello fellow cjcians!" which was obviously being jacked by MANY. and booboo gave me lupo's flag! THE MIGHTY WOLF DAYS. it's going to be up in my room :D man, did it bring back memories.
elena learnt something today!!! it seems like ive been getting all the suans and all the jokes. yet... all those who contributed to the suaning also contributed to my radiantlife in cj (: I KNOW that amongst all the "celebration" that you guys will not see me anymore... all the "happiness".. the more you guys deny.. the more it exposes the truth that all of you actually have ENJOYED the friendship we've shared! it is through all these retarded times that we bond x)
even if all of you continue being mean... looking at all of your msges for me behind the photos... i can read out lots of loves that warms the heart *aww* :)) all of you guys will truly miss all the times we've shared right. no matter how LOUD it is?
but really, i'll miss it ALOT too. so much so that i cant even quantify it.
all the messages i'll treasure (:
so then... met up with cheekymonkey and dearest jasdeep who's smiling because i just took a photo with him (: i played bridge with jared, x'a, yang and solikin. monkey said that he was damn pro at it but i only started winning after he went off for awhile :D hahaha.
was studying in the lib today! went out to defreeze for awhile and learnt that IGGY BULLIED ELE! AH! whyyy. and i thought you were nice. haha okay, iggy is still the nicest guy of all! but i still love your ipod! just DONT BE MEAN!. and then, my perfect "boyfriend" van was enjoying my cold hands because she just went for a run. and i loved her hotness! it's called mutual enjoyment (: hahah.
so anyways, then markp tocks william iggy and me went off to orchard to get some dinner and some company (: and SO SORRY.. but i cant control my voice! it's all the extremes! basically.. they just bullied me and tocks for the height! haha but it WAS a shorties outing! :D and yes, all cuteguys are gay! when suddenly william and iggy decided to turn gay. LOL.
it was the LAST nightstudy. and then muggingpartner gave a lil reminder to STUDY :) you never fail to spur me on to study, really. even if you always just type a "study" haha. appreciate it! elena is easy to please!! hahas. was with the MONKEYwilliam during nightstudy. and i wander how he actually stand all my random nonsense! hahas. his eyes are always wandering everywhere cept his lit book! haha. FOCUS. and im forever doing chem man... it's sad that i only gotten to know you after prelims.. but promise me that we'll still be nicefriends kay! (: goodfriends are hard to comeby...
dont kill me for posting this ya!
i wished graduation day didnt have to come SO FAST :(
i'll cry.
i have not enjoyed enough.
dancin' @ 12:15 AM
Thursday, October 12, 2006
a photo can say a thousand things.
can say a million things i want to say.
a photo can capture the way we were.
the way we are.
i tried to recapture the whacky norms going on before morning assembly (: guess the candid shots are those that are the prettiest! :D
before assembly...
star formation (:
emo jared in the morning.
tash dancing with her ipod (:
iggy woke up with reallyred eyes today.
the ipod i'll remember for life! :D elena really loves iggy's ipod! he has nice soothing exam-mood songs! YAY!
xiaoan's arrival :D so nice to give me a smile without the finger :D
queen!! santos says "noob!"
sweet candid!
anyways, school was pretty sian. had to rush off for a checkup at alexandra hosp on my toe! but now the problem lies with the knee. BLEH. waiting for the xray took DARN long to end. when i was back in school... it was time for bio! but guess we pissed bala off!
yayy! elena developed photos for her friends to sign behind! but then she gets the most retarded reactions...
xiaoyan refused to write because she thinks she look ugly in that pic and demands for a new one.
thad and hafiz refused to write because they want to keep the picture.
reagen commented this his head was too big!
xiaoan stole my drawing of mysperm while writing!
best, sherman "accidentally" threw it into the dustbin!
and how abt william took 1hours to write his msg? LOL
i look fat.
anyways, cheekymonkey bought coffee with coffeemate and SUGAR today! :( he secretly wants to make me fat! BLEHBLEH you. anyways i was busy giving photos!yay :D
went into the lib in the end... did aj chem paper2! and seeing monkey get distracted THEN taking 1hours to write his msg. hahahas. remember the random video with your default face!! WAHAHA. and jasdeep asking me to shutup. hahas.
tashy (:
smile :D
tomorrow's the LAST session of nightstudy! :( oh wells i'll definately be there! but a bigthankyou to nightstudy! for making my study at night!! lols. ever since beginning of thisyr... ive been faithful :D
anyways here's the design for the dress or roughly what i want? dont wish for it to be ex though :S yes, elena is not as skinny as this ideal figure.... elena's actually FAT and dieting. but i cant help it that ive always been sketching model figures!! the halter might just be it! feel free to comment! :D
treasure every moment*
dancin' @ 12:30 AM